Trump Visits Texas Border Amid Government Shutdown


-You guys, today was the 20th
day of the government shutdown. A lot of people are saying that President Trump has
backed himself into a corner. And Trump said,
“That’s impossible. The Oval Office
doesn’t have any corners.” [ Laughter and applause ] “I’m not an idiot.” [ Applause continues ] That’s right — it’s Day 20. Everyone’s fighting.
People are exhausted. There’s no end in sight. It’s basically like playing
a game of “Monopoly” with your family. It’s like, “Oh, just…”
[ Cheers and applause ] “Just bankrupt me, Dad!” [ Applause continues ] I saw that, today, federal
workers protested the shutdown outside the White House. It didn’t help when Trump
opened a window and yelled, “Don’t you have jobs to go to?!” [ Applause ] It’s not good.
Due to the shutdown, the FDA has rolled back
their food inspections, or as romaine lettuce put it, “I’m back, baby!
Yeah, boy! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!” ♪ The Venga bus is comin’ ♪ ♪ Ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ♪ ♪ New York and San Francisco ♪ [ Rhythmic clapping ] -Romaine. -Oh.
[ Laughter ] Guys, today,
President Trump flew to Texas and visited the southern border. But before leaving for Texas, Trump spoke to reporters
about the shutdown and said Democrats
have been taken over by young crazy people.
-Oh. -Yeah, because
when I see this picture, I think, “What a bunch
of young crazy people.” [ Laughter and applause ]
-Whoo! [ Applause ] -Ahh.
-But earlier today, Trump claimed that
he didn’t throw a temper tantrum during his meeting
with Democrats. Check this out. -I didn’t pound on tables. I didn’t raise my voice.
That was a lie. I didn’t smash the table. I should have,
but I didn’t smash the table. [ Laughter ] -He sounds like the Hulk
apologizing. “Trump no yell. Trump no smash.”
[ Laughter ] “Trump no smash. No yelling and smashing.”
[ Laughter ] “I should have smashed,
but I didn’t yell.” [ Laughter ]
-Yeah! -Today, Trump also said he’s prepared to declare
a national emergency to get money
for his border wall. It’s pretty historic for Trump. This will be the first thing he
declares that’s not bankruptcy. [ Laughter ]
Hey, oh! -Oh, hey, mm! [ Cheers and applause ]
-Mm! Well, I saw that “Fox & Friends” host
Brian Kilmeade said Trump using
a national emergency to get the wall
would set a terrible precedent. And Trump said, “Wait.
What did you just call me? I’m a great precedent.” [ Laughter ]
“I’m a great precedent.” He thought he said… -“President.”
-That’s correct. -But he didn’t —
he said “precedent.” -What’s that? -He said “precedent,”
not “president.” That was the confusion.
-That’s correct. -‘Cause you —
No, he thought that Brian, the guy from Fox said
that he was a bad president. -Right, but he didn’t.
-What’s that? -He said he set a bad precedent,
not president. Trump thought,
in your joke construction, thought that he said
“president.” [ Laughter ]
-That’s correct. -But in fact,
the word used was “precedent,” which is very close,
but since Trump is known for malapropisms
and stuff like that… -Sure, sure, sure, sure.
Sure, sure. -The humor is in that
he heard the wrong word, but then still used that
wrong word to explain himself, whereas a normal person
would say, “Oh, I’m not a bad president,” he said “bad precedent” again,
not realiz– [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ]
In case you were wondering. -Oh, I get it now.
-You know what I mean? -[ Laughs ]
[ Applause continues ] -Oh, I just wanted —
-Do you get it now? -Well, because of
the construction of the joke, that’s hilarious.
-Yeah, yeah. [ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ] -Guys, did you hear about this? Mattel just came out
with a new Magic 8 Ball called the Trump Magic 8 Ball. It’s like a Magic 8 Ball, but with Trump
answering your questions. And good news —
we actually have one here. It’s time for
“Trump Magic 8 Ball.” Here we go.
[ Cheers and applause ] -♪ Trump Magic 8 Ball ♪ ♪ Trump has an 8 Ball ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪ -This Magic 8 Ball is filled with the wisdom
of President Trump. You can ask it
any personal question you want, as long
as it’s a yes-or-no question. Then you give it a shake, and the
President of the United States will answer your question. Who wants to give it a try? One person, perfect. All right,
I guess you will give it a try. Stand up, buddy. Hey, what’s your name
and where are you from? -I’m Dan.
I’m from Orlando, Florida. -Orlando, hey!
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Have you — Have you gone on our ride yet?
-No. -Wait.
What are you talking about? We have a ride.
-I know. -It’s just like being here.
But I guess you just wanted… -I’m sorry.
Yeah, I wanted the real thing. -You wanted the real thing.
-That’s what I should’ve… -Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah. -How close are you
to the theme park? -Like 20ish minutes.
-[ Chuckling ] What? [ Laughter ]
Have you been to the — We have a —
our own roller coaster. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -I’ve heard about it.
I just haven’t gone. I’m sorry. I wanted to go to
the real thing. -It’s a good roller coaster.
It’s like a good — -I’ll try it out.
Yeah, I’ll try it out. [ Laughter ] Sorry.
-No, it’s okay. Are you from Canada, as well? -No, well — No, why?
-Cause I thought you just said, [Canadian accent]
“I’ll try it out. I’ll try it out.”
-Oh, did I say it like that? -Yeah, I think you did.
-I didn’t mean to. -Well, you’ll see it back on TV,
and you’ll be like… [ Laughter ]
All right. Anyways, what personal question would you like to ask
the Trump Magic 8 Ball? -Let me think.
-Could be anything. -I want to know, can I eat 80 chicken nuggets
in one sitting? [ Light laughter ]
That’s what I want to know. -That’s the question
you would like to ask the Trump Magic 8 Ball?
-Yes, yes. -Any question you want to ask.
You want to ask if you can 80… -Can I eat 80 chicken nuggets
in one sitting? 80. 8-0. -You want to ask the President
that instead of… -Yes, that’s what’s
most important to me. -…instead of yourself. Okay, understood.
-Yeah. -Trump Magic 8 Ball, can he eat 80 chicken nuggets
in one sitting? Is that correct?
-Yes. -I think you probably could. -You tell me what you think. I don’t think so.
I don’t think. -He says he doesn’t —
He says he doesn’t think so. [ Applause ]
-It’s a bummer. -Go to the theme park.
Go to the theme — Who else?
Raise your hand. [ Cheers and applause ]
Who else? Yes, sure.
Get up, sure. Hey. How you doing? How you doing?
-Hi. I’m Melissa. -Melissa, where are you from?
-Long Island, New York. -Long Island! I love it!
[ Cheers and applause ] Melissa, have you been on our
roller coaster on Long Island? No, I’m just kidding.
We don’t have one. -Yeah, I was just gonna say — I have no idea.
-No. Yeah, thank you. What personal question
would you like to ask the Trump Magic 8 Ball? -Um… Jimmy, can I have $100? [ Light laughter ] -From the 8 Ball? [ Laughter ] I mean,
are you asking me for $100? -Yeah.
-All right. I think I know
what the answer is. [ Laughter ]
I don’t have any cash on me. All right.
Let’s give it a shake. -Okay, Magic 8 Ball,
can I have $100? -President Trump,
do you think I should give — am I going to give
this person $100? -You can’t ask for that.
How ridiculous! [ Applause ]
-Fair enough. -Right. Thank you.
He’s right. He’s right. Who’s — Who’s — Who else? Yes, hey, buddy.
Come on, stand up. [ Cheers and applause ]
How you doing, pal? Nice to see you, buddy. What is your name,
and where are you from? -My name’s Joe,
and I’m from Jersey. -Yes, New Jersey in the house. Come on!
[ Cheers and applause ] Joe from Jersey, we have
the Trump Magic 8 Ball here. You can ask it anything. People have asked it,
can they eat 80 chicken nuggets? Someone tried to have it
convince me to give them $100. You can ask anything.
It’s a Magic 8 Ball. What would you like to ask
the Trump Magic 8 Ball? -Will I ever be able
to do the Floss dance? [ Laughter ] -Wow.
I mean, that’s a tough dance. The Floss dance — I know.
I see the disappointment. [ Laughter ] It looks like you’ve tried
to do it in the past, and you’ve failed. Okay, is there a need to do
the Floss dance, or not really? -Not really.
-Not really. Of course. All right, well,
it’s a great question. Let’s give it a shake. Let’s see what President Trump
has to say. Will he ever be able
to do the Floss dance? -We’re gonna very soon find out. Maybe I’m not right,
but, usually, I’m right. [ Laughter ] -That’s —
That’s a cryptic answer. But maybe we will find out. Roots, do you have a beat?
Maybe. [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
I mean, you’re on TV. [ Cheers and applause ]
You’re on TV. -Why not? -Do you have a family
or kids watching? -They’re gonna be
so embarrassed. -Do you have kids watching?
-I do. I have two. -Oh, you have two kids.
What’s their names? -Lorelai and Matthias.
-Check out your dad doing the Floss dance
on national television. Go for it. Try it. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -[ Laughs ] Oh, my God. -What?
What just happened? Thank you for playing. That’s all the time we have for Trump Magic 8 Ball,
everybody. [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ 8 Ball,
Trump Magic 8 — 8 Ball ♪ ♪ Trump Magic 8 Ball ♪ -Oh! That was fantastic. That was pretty good, actually.
-[ Laughs ] I liked it. Oh, guys, listen to this —
today, Lady Gaga apologized for making a song with R. Kelly
back in 2013. Gaga says she hopes her fans
can move on from this embarrassing moment and enjoy her new duet
with Kevin Spacey. [ Audience groans ]
Now, hey, guys, I get — -[ Laughs ] [ Laughter ]
-Whoo! [ Laughing ] -And finally,
it was reported that, during his meeting
with Democrats yesterday, Trump got so mad
that he stormed out of the room. It was the first time
Trump did something stormy without having to pay $130,000.
[ Cheers and applause ] We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!




Comments
  1. Doesn't any one consider the fact that building the wall will put 5 billion BACK into the American Economy… That is probably one of the best investments the government could and has made in a very long time…Steel and American contractors that will hire thousands of AMERICANS to build it…All those Americans will pay income tax and spend their wages in AMERICA…
    This is all bull schitt… No one is saying this…. WHY..?

  2. All paid actors give me a hundred dollars it’s like she spilled the beans on getting paid and what’s up with the questions are they even up to date with trump

  3. Lefty liberal “logic”…Why we need no freaken wall. We the American people want more illegal invaders from all over the world to come here to steal our jobs, medical care, services, whole communities, cites, and even states which should all be free to them without having to pay any taxes. Census confirms: 63 percent of "reporting" non-citizens are on welfare, 4.6 million households! And we want more terrorists, more gangsters, more drugs, more crime i.e. more human trafficking, sexual assaults, pedophiles, child supply for pedophiles, burglary, murders, robbery's, auto thefts, un-insured drivers damaging our property injuring and killing our citizens and more hit and run victims, more graffiti vandalism of public and private property, and more people in our jail's i.e. D.H.S Statistic. 23% of Federal prison inmates are illegal immigrants! and they are not there for being illegal immigrants! D.H.S Statistic. Bottom line, we want more undesirables which cost us American tax payers hundreds of billions a year, thousands of our citizens lives and the dismantling of our communities and culture, with zero added benefits for us, the legal American citizens! Don't that make perfect sense to you?

  4. They insist, reopen the government and we'll negotiate… Really! After pledging to never negotiate with this president ever since his inauguration, and decades of the people demanding and being promised a controlled border they are ready to negotiate? I think not! Carrier politicians and media are obsessed with lying to the citizens to get what their big donors want, they have been lying to us for centuries! They are working for wealthy elite globalist pigs, NOT the citizens! and the wealthy elite globalist pigs don't want border security, period, and that is why we don't have it! We need tight term limits for all these people, and campaign finance reform Now! politicians that get rich need to be investigated by a neutral independent investigation team, Not the Corrupted Justice System, which needs desperately to also be investigated by a neutral independent investigation team!

  5. i thought trump was geting the money from mexico… well i guess they said "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…" So he is asking from opposition and guess what they are saying " NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NON NO ON NON NON NN NON NON NON NON NON……CDJCBSVCSDFHJFGFYWEF//……." and after this he is going ask the money from his supporters… lets see what happens than……

  6. Jimmy
    Your worth a cool
    $60 million dollars hmmm
    Taking full advantage of those tax cuts our PRESIDENT TRUMP issued these UNITED STATES
    I bet you are.

  7. The US government is completely bankrupt – I declare it insolvent and defunct. Your IOU dollars aren't worth the paper they are printed on. Nothing backs them up at all. Nothing but pallets of fake gold painted bricks left in Fort Knox. The gig is up.

  8. People love Obama for fucking up health care. They hate Trump for trying to protect them from being killed by illegals. We probably do need to invest more in education.

  9. EVERYONE NEEDS TO GIVE THE PRESIDENT SOME RESPECT AND ACTUALLY LOOK AT THE ECONOMY AND HOW GOOD IT IS AND WE NEED A WALL UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET RAPED BY A MEXICAN OR WHATEVER KIND OF ILLEGAL ALIEN IT IS!!!

  10. Why would anybody watch this garbage Jimmy is clearly retarded now everybody I offended please go stand in your safe space

  11. Libtards are so fucking stupid, they failed at everything they do, the latest is idiot Jim Acosta wall video and Chucky Schumer and Nancy Pelosi rebuttal response (two zombies standing behind the podium) libtards libtards libtards libtards libtards 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂libtards libtards libtards libtards libtards 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣libtards libtards libtards libtards libtards

  12. Trash piling up? Trump has asked that all americans take their trash to any trump golf course, hotel, or building. Would he lie?
    Say "bad president" again.

  13. It's interesting fact, to see that none of these boring dumb american show host has done any joke about Jim Acosta.. Hmmm… Even with all social medias talking about his recent stupidities… Hmm… I wonder why…

    The only reason why Jimmy Fallon it's funny it's cause Americans are dumb, they clap and laugh and scream for anything… Also cause he joined the Satan worshipers club of course!
    ….
    Jimmy Fallon looks like a kid that discover masturbation for the first time in its life …plus …a garbage dog that had a shower for the first time in it's life! A mix of both
    Annoying and dumb!

  14. Holy crap, day 22! Seriously, when is the shut down gonna end? Wow, the floss dance is actually pretty easy to do!

  15. So sick of this embarrassing opaloompa opening his mouth, tweeting & just further fucking up America. Those who voted for him should be fucking ashamed. Make America great again my ass. MAKE AMERICA SMART AGAIN!

  16. pressure needs to be put on Mitch McConnell. his i cant do anything "card" is so lame. congress is an equal branch of government. the senate has the votes to override any "veto card" trump tries to play. what is a matter with mitch.. the president doesn't have any power to block, if the senate has the votes to override veto..they did this a while back with sanctions against russia.. and trump signed the legislation even though he didn't want to. the american people may need to move to the "McConnell tree " and start chopping it down..

  17. Trump is creating more jobs jobs…… I'm more pain in the ass. "look at all the unemployed people finding new positions that just opened up I got the Tsa"

  18. With all of his sniffing, it already seems Trump is using an eight-ball, although the one he is using, is not found on toy store shelves, or used to predict the future.
    Hehe. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Heehee. Sniff. Sniff. Sniiiiiiiiiif.
    "Oh, magic eight-ball, Tell my future. Sniiiiiif. Oh. Six more weeks of snow".
    Lol

  19. Who would have thought it would be Kilmeade who would turn on Trump? "The brown-haired guy who's not Steve Doocy" thought the military parade was a waste of money, too.

    But what's with Fallon's audience members — THOSE are their questions? Maybe Jimmy shouldn't do these bits.

  20. Just as whales often communicate using subsonic frequencies inaudible to the human ear, Trump seems to often speak in a highly-specialized linguistic code only understandable by people with an IQ under 60… There's little doubt he'll be re-elected for a second term, but he'd be missing a golden opportunity by not having Dan Quayle as his VP! Just think of the potentially inexhaustible supply of entertaining soundbites those two would provide!

  21. Didn't trump get back 260k from storm and got to tap it because like every other woman she can't keep her mouth or legs closed?

  22. "Liberals" are just like Nazis. They kill people my the millions "abortions" because they are not children. They don't allow any speech that goes against their agenda. They hate a certain "race" "whites" and believe they are evil. They want the whole world to be like them. They are brain washed and easily programmed by their leaders to want a world war "with Russia". They want socialism and communism and hate "capitalist western values". etc etc etc

  23. Lol….seems American media can't survive without Trump or Russia…..so many important things to cover up in this world……..morons….hahaha….lets c where are you stupid s within the next 10 years.

  24. Dems are traitors, putting their personal interests above America and the American people. Dems like Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi keep taking their vacations. American taxpayers pay them to do their jobs they're supposed to, but they didn't. Call your Congress member and demand they do their job @ (202) 224 – 3121

  25. Next,Jimmy.
    Tell them ,too keep the question's. Related to Politic's.
    Like the "wall" or "Prison'". or "the shutdown".
    Those questions,made American's may have attention disorder. Were thee the students who looked out t,the class window,during final exam's

  26. "Shutdown"? What "shutdown"? Libs' manipulation is shown for what it is; CNN: sound & fury signifying NOTHING. Libs have got a real problem now, as each of the "doomsdays" they've tantrumed about has come up—and we're still here, everybody's fine; BETTER, anyway, every one. Al Gore told us in 2007 that in 10 years the Arctic would be melted, & that American coastal cities would be underwater. LIBS, KEEP TALKING LIKE THIS! You dig your own holes with your lying—complaining—mandibles. Everyone knows you hate all that is good, & that brand is now attached to you. You're found out, & tho you may win some contests & "win" more than THAT—you are in the position of spoilers at most.
    —–Dems' peak number of offices filled by election was in the early 1990s. They've lost ground continuously since, though the pace has changed since 2008: it's ACCELERATED. You have been found out, & the more you choose to make cheap shots the more your claque may cheer—but the larger public? Not so much in Novembers they remember, & the more KNOWLEDGEABLE the electorate the worse Dems fare.
    —–Ignorance breeds Dems. Quite a brand you've got there.

  27. we need pool balls with each one of the balls 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, 9 , 10 …ect fired with pics and resignations. the white ball is Trump

  28. What were you doing in Puerto Rico with all the couple hundred Demonrats, there, Jimmie? Legal age there is 16, and I understand sex trafficking is not a crime. Why were you there? We KNOW Pizzagate is real, & half of them are in on it… But what were YOU doing there?

  29. I know the media and show put him to be president and the same will put him down deeper down than trump can imagined course trump is liar german crime nazi real rassist nationalist 👎🚫🛇

  30. You DO know, that after thirty days, 21 work days…furloughed workers can be laid off, right? This isnt just a "wall" shut down…its a "drain the swamp" shut down. We ARE bankrupt as a country…and our overhead is about to get a LOT lighter. He's done it before.

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  32. Did you read a while back that JF was getting scolded for not bashing Trump enuff !!! Sad that someone can be pushed like that to go beyond where a logical thought would take them. I cant watch JF anymore because of that, its like Bernie Sanders being screwed by HRC and then comes out and endorses her?? No Spine… the guy is senile anyway.

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