I don’t know…
I don’t know about you guys, but, uh,
I’m ready for 2016 to end. I am so done with this year. -(cheering, applause)
-This was honestly one of the (bleep) years
we can remember. And on top of that
it was a leap year, so there was an extra day
of (bleep)-ness. To be honest, only an asshole
would be thankful for a year like this. NEWSMAN:
President-Elect Donald Trumpkicking off his thank-you tour,visiting the key
battleground statesthat helped secure his win
against Hillary Clinton.Of course– the worst year for
us is the best year for Trump. You know? When we lose, he wins. It’s like he owns
one of those cleaning companies that only cleans up
crime scenes. He’s like, “Oh, boy!
Triple homicide! Cha-ching!” (laughter) And I-I thought the thank-you
tour was a waste of time. Honestly, I did. Until I watched it… and I realized
that the thank-you tour is actually some
of the most important speaking Donald Trump has done all year. Like yesterday. Trump was in Wisconsin, right? And in between
thanking the voters, he also gave us a glimpse
of histruerelationship with the speaker of the house. Speaker Paul Ryan.
Where’s the speaker? -(audience jeering)
-Where is he? He has been… I’ll tell you,
he has been terrific. And, you know, honestly,
he’s like a fine wine. (laughter, jeering) Every day goes by, I get to appreciate his genius
more and more. Now, if he ever goes against me,
I’m not gonna say that, okay? I get the feeling
that when Trump says Paul Ryan is like a fine wine,
what he really means is that he wants to lock Ryan up in
a basement for, like, 40 years. You’ve got to read
between the lines. But… but what stands out
in that clip for me is not the compliment, but
it’s how blatantly Trump admits how empty his words are. Just watch that last part again. I get to appreciate his genius
more and more. Now, if he ever goes against me,
I’m not gonna say that, okay? Yeah, you see that? Straight up. If Paul Ryan
is like a fine wine, then Donald Trump
is like a fine meth. -You know? Yeah.
-(laughter) Just a little, and you’re, like,
“What the (bleep) is going on?!” The guy’s blatantly saying it. “I like him now,
but if he goes against me, I won’t say that,
I won’t say that.” And this is not
actually a new thing. What we’re seeing here
is a character I like to call “Truth Trump.” You’ll notice
if you watch him closely. Right? The Donald voices
some political opinion, and then Truth Trump slips out
and tells you the real deal. You’ve been hearing me say
it’s a rigged system, but now I don’t say it anymore
because I won. -Okay? It’s true.
-(cheering) You know, now I don’t care. I don’t care. (laughter) You see?
It throws everyone off. Because politicians
aren’t supposed to be honest about their lying. Right? You don’t even get mad,
you just get confused. You really do. Imagine
if your boyfriend was like, “Baby, I didn’t go to the club.
I was home! “Unless you were home, too,
when, uh, I was, “uh, somewhere else, uh, then
that, uh, I was somewhere else. “That doesn’t make you mad.
I mean, ha-ha, that’s the thing. But I wasn’t at the club!” And now, with this tour,
Trump is finally admitting that it was all bull (bleep). He’s admitting it blatantly.
Blatantly. Take Hillary for example. Right? Trump spent the entire campaign
saying that Hillary was a dangerous criminal
who had ruined the country, and for that,
he was gonna lock her up. People chanted it.
They held up signs. He even said it to her face
at a debate. It was the one specific piece
of policy he had. But now that he’s got
what he wanted, Truth Trump
tells it like it is. Because I heard my opponent had scheduled Michigan unexpectedly, it was like, all of a sudden, with President Obama
and Michelle, and Bill and Hillary. -And they were going
to Michigan. -(crowd boos) No, it’s okay. No. -Forget it. -CROWD:
Lock her up! Lock her up! -Lock her up!
-That plays great… before the election.
Now we don’t care, right? I’m sorry, what? He even said, “It plays great”? Just, it plays great
before the election, but now we don’t care? Yeah? Like-like, everyone else
was doing this (bleep) for real, and he was just playing,
he was just testing it out? You can even feel some people
in the crowd were like, “Yeah… Wait, we were playing? “Come on. I wrote that
on grandpa’s tombstone. I took that seriously.” That’s not even
the biggest surprise. Because, look, I can get going
hard on your opponents, right? But Trump’s campaign’s
central appeal was that he was an outsider, a man whose main mission
was to drain the swamp. He said it all the time. He was going to get rid
of the lobbyists and get rid of Wall Street money and give D.C.
back to the people. But Truth Trump,
he tells it like it is. We’re going
to drain the swamp… of corruption. Funny how that term
caught on, isn’t it? I tol… I tell everyone–
I hated it. Somebody said,
“drain the swamp.” I said, “Oh, that’s so hokey.
That is so terrible. I said, “All right,
I’ll try it’.” So, like a month ago,
I said, “drain the swamp.” Place went crazy.
I said, “Whoa. What’s this?”
Then I said it again. Then I started saying it
like I meant it, right? And then I said it…
I started loving it. And the place loved it.
Let’s drain the swamp. I mean, it’s true. It’s true. It’s true. Drain the swamp. You know what Trump is like?
He’s like a magician telling everyone
how he did the trick, and still some people
are like, “Wow, magic. “It’s magic. “Ooh. Magic.”