Trans Love In The Black Community: Living Color | NBC News



my name is Kim Katrin Milan I identify as a queer mixed-race black woman and I'm TKE Milan and identifies trans man my name is Olympia Perez and I identified with the pronouns her she and they my name is sasha alexander and i used the pronouns he/she and they and asked the people mix it up I'm janae and a woman I'm Sean and I'm a man a man of trans experience but a man none the less okay so how we met we met on Facebook I was more like it was my I met her on Facebook so um okay so long story short I was friends with the old friend of hers and you know how you sometimes go through other people's friends list and I was going through the girls friends list and I found her so I'm reading her page and I'm like oh my god this girl is amazing so I started to send her messages like once a month for months until she finally spoke to me so every month it was like hello how are you why nothing nothing too creepy nothing stalkery just hey I hope you have a nice day and then finally she finally responded and I think within like three days we had like three thousand messages between us ah within within three days we loved each other yeah we actually met at an event that he had hosted called black trans love as well and it was speaking to like the ideas around love for trans people it was about bringing together black trans folks and people in our communities to talk about love do we feel loved does love matter what role does love playing justice because a lot of the black trans media work that I was organizing was about holding space for black trans people to talk and have these conversations about things that we weren't ever getting to talk about with each other well we met at a party but it was really a ball but we talked about it was a party but it was a ball it was my first ball was my first time walking a ball is like a stay competition right I hate using this as a reference but if anyone's ever seen Paris's burn in Paris is burning depicts a ball we were introduced there and I saw Sean and everyone stopped and don't it was like who is this guy you know all these people were moving out of the way for him and my friend was like oh I know him and you know that kind of thing and I was like okay you know and I was just like in awe as to what he was doing there and I asked him to be my friend on Facebook and for a year we just weren't liking each other's pictures and Facebook statuses I thought he was really profound and I thought he was really smart and I was like wow and the day before Valentine's Day February 13 2013 I get a message from him and he was like I don't usually do this this is um this is a bit much for me but I don't mean in disrespect but I think you're beautiful but not in a superficial kind of way let's move you know we fell in love and then two weeks later I proposed and then a month later I bought a ring and they had two months later we were married that's how it was one of those moments where I realized that for each other we were each the ideal like this was not this was not a possibility this is exactly the person that we've both been searching for I think love and a trans person outwardly openly he's definitely a revolutionary act because I say this you know my mother's biggest fear was that no one was gonna you know the two things she was really afraid of was Mike Mike my safety and then no one was gonna love me and I think that that's it that's an idea that is that it's that's commonplace that transgender people aren't aren't going to be loved are gonna receive love like our lives are just full of lots of detachment and lots of isolation and that is true there are lots that there are there is a lot of isolation amongst the transgender community there are lots of trans folks who are not receiving any love from their families and it's hard for them to create partnerships so when we do so when this does happen it is a revolutionary act you know it's countering this dominant narrative that there is that there's a pathology with transgender people there showing that we are happy and healthy and we are deserving of love absolutely and you know and for me it wasn't really important for me to be with a woman who wanted to be with a man like me I want someone that who could a woman who can identify that and really speak to that specifically and say you know you are trans man and I love who you are and how you are I wouldn't change anything about you and and she did that for me and that was that was cooked – anchor for me she had such a presence and such a spirit and I had never met her before and I have built a lot with like black trans community in particular over the years in New York City and all over and so when I met her I was like who is this woman and she had just come from this poetry reading and so she was like oh I just read this poem and and I just like fell in love with her from the moment in the poem she says something about having a groom one day like who me the boy girl the girl boy in this poem and I remember thinking like I wanted to be that groom I wanted to be that person I don't even know her and I was like oh that's a little you know presumptuous of me to be like I could be that person but the event it was like it's like you speak your intentions into the world like you know we were talking about how black trans love is wealth and here I was not only with like a community that loved me but like actually meeting the love of my life at the event which was which was amazing and was beautiful and was like a testament to how powerful bringing our folks together and Shawn came into my life during a very uh I also felt like I feel like she won save my life in so many ways Shawn came to life and he made me believe that all my dreams can come true like he's the biggest dreamer in the world and sometimes it gets frustrating because I'm like wake up from this dream and you know other times it's like it's a fantastic ride and it's just like like wow like he chose me like I'm his wife and it's just like a beautiful thing to just be with a person who gets you and who loves you and who honors you and you know a person that I know like is as invested in me and and us as you know as I am and that's just that's just something I go to sleep at night and I'm comforted in the fact that this is my husband I love janae for so many reasons she's compassionate she's passionate she's so family-oriented she's loyal she's not a she's not afraid to be vulnerable well she's not afraid to be vulnerable with me and and I think that was something in myself that I lacked and she shown me how to be vulnerable right and be comfortable being vulnerable and I don't think you can truly love yourself or others if you don't display a certain amount of vulnerability and she showed me that I said this thing before I feel like he is my he is majestic the reason for the word majestic is because there is really no word to describe who he is in the world the aura that is around him when I look at him for like five or six seconds I don't know I just feel like he is beautiful he reminds me of Who I am in the world he reminds me deserve the love that I am getting the love that I am surrounded by he reminds me that I am also a star I feel like he the way that he holds space down the way that he is in the community for the community despite of whatever or however things happen I feel like you have taught me a lot about myself Olympia to me is that woman who is like but now now now she does not I have never seen somebody interrupt the gaze of violence on a woman's body on a black body the way Olympia steps in and just sometimes I tell her she's like storm she's like the way that she comes into a space and and and just not only exists because we already exist but she resists even myself being very active I can even become very passive to the injustice that I face on a daily basis but Olympia speaks up and knows unapologetically that now now now it's always the moment to do that in a way that is beautiful and she does that as an activist and she does that as an artist I think I think maybe for me when I think about family you know Teek is really my family and my extended community of people who I work to and have really been my family after my grandparents passed I don't really have a connection to my biological family and so and I think for a lot of queer people we can lose access to our family because bigotry because of all sorts of different kinds of violence and so I think that it can feel really hard when you're making a family knew when people have all these specific ideas of what a family is supposed to look like and so I guess maybe what is always really important to me and is is is wanting to communicate to people that you can start over and I think it's in falling in love with yourself and learning to respect and value the person that you are you know you can start to find people who also want a similar journey and then start to create a family that actually honors you for the person that you are perfect NBC News fans thanks for checking out our youtube channel subscribe by clicking on that button down here and then click on any of the videos over here to watch the latest interviews show highlights and digital exclusives thanks for watching




Comments
  1. This video is old but I can see their goodness and light through their smiles and I also see that they went through some pain in their journey. I'm so happy that you are all happy and keep living your best life! Love wins 💞

  2. You're not trans nothing a man born a man will still stay as a man a woman born a woman will always be a woman you cannot change my allergy even if you mutilate your body or like you say you like keeping your body parts but you like crossdressing so see what you are crossdressers

  3. These people are all beautiful and amazing. I'm thrilled for them that they all found loving partners.
    It's odd to me that the morons in this comment section have such a difficult time getting what Love is. Love is Love.

  4. Transgender people are loved! I love my LGBTQ family and friends. I had to take a stand for my cousin because my family tried to ostracize her but I wasn’t having it at all.

  5. Whites (NBC, etc) are always anxious to promote every abomination and bring confusion into the Black Community

  6. People are still saying oh I don’t know who is who. They literally just said it at the beginning of the video. People choose not to know and choose to be “confused”.

  7. 50 years ago, people would have paid money to witness these freaks. Reopen the insane asylums and lock these freaks up, give them shock treatment until they identify with their biological birth gender

  8. This is not confusion nor a mental health issue it's a demonic situation. The Lord doesn't agree with these type of unions as a Christian I will pray for them and their broken lost souls. Before you feel that my remarks our of hate let me inform you that it is written not by me but by Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ Almighty. No judgement nor condemnation just a prayer for them to receive the light and come out of the darkness.🙏🙏🙏🙏😟😟😟

  9. So much hate in the comments for true love between two HUMANS it's disgusting. Their love is beautiful❤

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