The Government Shutdown, the Bird Box Challenge – Monologue


-Let’s get to the news. President Trump
has announced that he will give a live address from the
Oval Office tomorrow night on the border wall. Wow.
This must be serious business. I mean, the last time
someone gave a speech from the Oval Office —
Oh, right, yeah. Never mind. The government shutdown has
entered its third week, and I can’t say I’m surprised. Shutdowns
are a pattern with him. If Trump had a casino,
it shut down. He’s in charge of the
government, it shut down. He married Melania,
she shut down! [ Cheers and applause ] Shut down. White House Press Secretary
Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted today that President Trump will
travel to the southern border on Thursday. And what do you know? Mexico finally started
building that wall. That’s all it took. Newly elected representative
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was mocked on
social media this weekend after video resurfaced
of her dancing in college. Take a look. -♪ I got to be someone else
these days ♪ -First of all, this looks
less like a college video and more like
the opening to “Blossom.” And, second, is this what we’re
supposed to be worried about? Let me remind you,
we have been through worse. According to Reuters,
Google moved $22.7 billion to Bermuda in 2017 through a Dutch shell company
to avoid taxes. While over at Bing, you’re no longer allowed
to flush if it’s just pee. I’m not… I wasn’t waiting for
the applause. The NYPD is looking
for a man who recently broke into an Apple store and
stole $75,000 worth of products. That is crazy. Why would anyone need
five iPhone cables? A group of
Phoenix area residents recently attacked a
self-driving car prototype using rocks and knives. Meanwhile, in New York,
that’s just how you hail a cab. And, finally, Netflix
has started asking fans of its horror film “Bird Box,”
not to participate in the viral
“Bird Box” Challenge, where people record themselves trying to wear a blindfold
for up to 24 hours. They also warned against
the “Fuller House” challenge, where you try to watch
an episode of “Fuller House.”




Comments
  1. You know speaking of birdbox, if you were to replace all the scary demon things the people see before they kill themselves with images of Trump Campaigns and re-elected posters, suddenly everyone killing themselves starts to make sense….

  2. I don't blame people taking the bird box challenge, I would blindfold myself all day to avoid seeing Trumps address tonight.

  3. I was told about someone who did the "Bird Box" challenge and walked into traffic, got hit by a car. My first thought, and response was, "Darwinism doing its finest work."

    Shut up, Netflix! Let these idiots do it! We need to clean out our gene pool some. Trump is worried about some starving brown people looking for work and food; has he seen what AMERICANS do to themselves and others? lol!

  4. O.k. its 3:00pm the live address from the oval office is in a few hours.
    I just spent some time watching FOX and reading comments.
    The Drumpf fanatics are not interested in any fact checking of their president. They are encouraging him to say whatever he feels he needs to say true or not. Seriously read some comments if you can stand it on fox long enough. Nothing will come of this address from the oval office other than Drumpf getting free access to spread propaganda. Drumpf fanatics refuse to be swayed by the truth. Drumpf fanatics openly state this. They absolutely support Drumpf unconditionally. Period. Regardless of any crime regardless of anyting whatsoever. Do you understand ? I don't.

  5. Surprised Trump is giving his address at 9pm, I would assume it would be later to compete with the other comedy shows.

  6. If you want to have a few good laughs at the end of the day, watch Seth. For more laughs, be lucky enough for Amber to have a bit. His show is the best on late night. Good political humor and insights but he’s not mean about it.

  7. If we all commit suicide none of us has to put up with the fat orange fraud and he would go mad woth grief having no one to shock and horrify with his malignancy. Not a great plan but its not like anyone in the corperate governmental oligarchy is going to do anything about americas criminal "president" while theyre all swelling like ticks feeding off the people.

  8. I'm just here to support President Trump by making an outlandish, idiotic, and unprovable claim about his successes.

    The Real Bird Box Challenge.

  9. He made fun of Hilary dancing! Oh no, where are the trolls calling this “fake news” and talking about their outrage, etc.? Oh wait, that only happens when Trump and his liars are the subject of jokes. It is almost as though supporters of someone competent can acknowledge that person’s shortcomings, failures, occasional foolishness, and yes, occasional lies without ranting like lunatics. But when the supporters of an incompetent imbecile see that person called out, they just can’t handle it. Mildly interesting, and deeply pitiful.

  10. 1:03 Oh my god, we elected a HUMAN in the government!? What fool elects normal humans in this government!?

    WE ONLY ALLOW ARYAN NATIONIST ROBOTS ABOVE THE AGE OF 60 IN THIS GOVERNMENT… SPECIFICALLY FROM THE 1900'S.

  11. Welcome back Seth! It seems like for ever. Please don't leave us this long of a time. We were dying out here. 😀😀

  12. I feel so sorry for the people who will be homeless,all on account of Prez. Cheeto.. but, then again, I'm thankful, I'm Canadian!
    We have our hedgewall grown to keep Prez Dump Out! LOL ( Google Canadian Wall to Keep Trump Out!, LOL)

  13. AOC dances with exuberance. On the other hand, #TrumpTheInsaneRacistLyingFascistBigotPedophile can't keep a beat while holding a rubber sword, and "dancing" with his Saudi dance partners.

  14. I do my best not to let the trolls on here bring me down but I have to say, if you create nothing but come on here insulting people you are nothing but a fizzle and your opinion is about as functional as "Nuts N' Gum" and every bit as real.

  15. I been trying to checked my Videos that they send me and now they are Disible. Also another child from Guatemala die. Also, someone send me something from Apple. .

  16. Seth should have shown the Trump/Guiliani cross-dressing video as a rebuttal to the so-called AOC dance controversy.

  17. Some right wingers mocking AOC for her silly dance video, but fail to recall the many, many videos of trump making a fool of himself, such as his "Bing Bing bong" moment or anytime he speaks or tweets

  18. My uncle had a small farm in Kansas and water was precious. You were NOT allowed to flush the toilet until the end of the day. If you had to take a dump, well, that's what the outhouse was for.

  19. The immigration reform act of 1986 gave amnesty to 2.7 million immigrants Ronald Reagan did this since in 1986 now we are in same situation Congress never secured the border. Congress on both parties did nothing vote them all out

  20. THE GREAT & POWERFUL ORANGE CON MAN: "And who's going to pay for the wall??!!!" HIS BASE: "Mexico!!!!" GRIFTER COMRADE DOTARD: "Wrong, my wonderfully uneducated base… you are!!" BASE: "Yippee!!!!"

  21. Remember when Hilary told a black interviewer the one thing she can't leave home without is hotsauce? We'd have president Bernie if not for Hilary and her corrupt party. Somebody pick us out a 3rd party and I will vote for whoever they nominate, we gotta get rid of the DNC if we ever want a liberal, non-racist in the white house.

  22. I guess Seth doesn't know that the parent company of Bing is worth $40 Billion more than Google and is the 2nd most valuable company in the world. Good attempt at a joke though

  23. 18 years ago, I wore a blind fold for a couple of days while under the influence of hallucinogens. I also did it for several hours while walking around a city "sober". It is a very humbling and enlightening experience but I do not recommend wearing a blindfold for a day unless you have a spotter to make sure you do not harm yourself or others accidentally. I have the utmost of respect for blind people and sailors in the US Navy whom have to go go blind their whole lives or for extended training drills, respectively; they are able to do what most of us cannot. All that said, I personally thought "Bird Box" sucked. It was derivative, unoriginal and just plain boring.

  24. I think Fuller House should have been based on my family growing up; there was so much drama and so many weird things going on that we could have easily have filled eight seasons with unbelievably unusual, crazy and funny content.

  25. First of all the movie is just fucking stupid and the ppl in general are stupid to even try the bird box challenge.

  26. Lame Pagan! Dont do this s h i t y Gainless Gain Challenge its for WeakHearts its Satans Blueprint of Fuckn Yall in the Ears w/ Forbidden Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. CHALLENGE this- "Read Your BIBLE ONE CHAPTER A DAY from GEN.1 – REV 22." It will keep the Devil Away! Love God & Live

  27. Doesn’t “people attack self-driving cars with knives and rocks” sound a lot like “humans attack AI robots with primitive weapons”?

  28. The border wall is a distraction from the Russia investigation. The only wall needed is the wall around Trump with bars on the windows. We have a traitor in the Whitehouse!

  29. The left is moving toward socialism. If that doesn't scare you, then you don't realize what socialism brings with it.

  30. Is it me, or does Sarah Huckabee Sanders look like she suffers from Down Syndrome. It isn't meant to necessarily be an insult, it is merely an observation. Look at how she is always squinting and the size of her forehead. Something doesn't look quite right, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

  31. Wait a minute… What conservatives mocked her? When? Where? I can't believe this is being regurgitated. How does a story like this get so HUGE without any evidence? Oh I know why…It's because it doesn't really matter to the people regurgitating mouth to mouth vomit amongst themselves. You'd like it to be true, you imagine it to be true so therefore it is true? Delusional

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