[Peter] Hello everyone yes and welcome to Posh Peter’s Politics [Peter] and today I’ve got a special interview… [Peter] with Boris Johnson oh yes
the new prime minister of the United Kingdom [Peter] Oh how exciting.
Let’s welcome Boris. Hello Boris [Boris] Yes hello there. Wiff waff.
Yes yes it’s me Boris. The new Prime Minister. Wiff Waff [Peter] Oh yes well I as a
conservative party member… [Peter] am delighted that you’ve
become Prime Minister [Boris] Well well thank you very much Peter [Peter] And I voted for you yes [Boris] Yes wiff waff [Peter] How are you finding the job so far? [Boris] Yes I’m finding the job perfect
splendid thank you [Boris] Splendid and er… Scrumptious and
just delightful in general yes [Boris] I love being in charge you see. Yes wiff waff [Peter] Oh very good yes yes well I… [Boris] Wiff waff. Yes I love wiff waffing. [Boris] I wiff waff every morning and
every evening [Peter] Oh really? [Boris] Yes and inbetween doing prime ministerial
duties another quick wiffwaff yes [Peter] right okay well thank you very much for coming today [Boris] Yes no problem. Yes absolutely [Boris] A pleasure to be here with
such a seductive host like you [Peter] Oh thank you
[Boris] Wiff waff woof woof [Peter] Oh you’re very charming.
Everyone says how charming you are [Boris] You’re not like those Picanillys no no no [Peter] Thank you [Boris] No no wiff waff [Peter] So let’s get started then [Boris] Ok yes a good old interview
one of my favourites yes yes [Boris] I’m happy to answer…
I’m an open book [Boris] I’m an open book for you and you
can ask me anything you like [Peter] Oh ok [Boris] I will tell you the absolute truth
because I stand by my word yes yes [Boris] I’m ready for you to read me [Boris] Read me good yes.
Read me like a dirty dirty dirty book yes [Peter] Right… okay the first
question I want to ask you… [Boris] Right [Peter] During your campaign to become
the new leader of the Conservative Party… [Peter] There was a bit of an incident that occurred where the police had to come and visit your house [Boris] Yes yes yes [Peter] I just want to give you the opportunity to perhaps clarify what happened there maybe [Boris] Oh right right right yes of course yes [Boris] Well a fantasticly poised
question as always Mr Peter [Boris] You are quite splendid
at being the interviewer [Peter] Oh thank you [Boris] Ever the gracious host… [Peter] Oh yes [Boris] And really quite wonderful but er… [Boris] But really I think that is a fantastic question [Boris] but what the people are
really interested in is I think you’ll find yes… [Boris] Is none of that wiff waff
and more about my policy [Peter] Oh oh yes [Boris] They’re really interested in knowing
about what I’m going to do to run the country [Boris] Yes and how I’m going to take Great Britain
to being the great place that it once was [Peter] Oh yes I quite agree [Boris] So to answer your question… Policy [Peter] I agree. The newspapers should stop
sticking their noses into your private life [Boris] Yes and they should stop sticking my
nose into the dirt [Peter] Yes excatly. I agree with you.
policy is what people want. Not your private life [Boris] Yes it’s just so tiring every day and they
make all the wiff waff… [Boris] And then I have to respond to it
And all I really want to do is ride my bicycle [Peter] Oh yes [Boris] I love riding my bike. I love London
I love London so much [Boris] I was the mayor don’t you know? [Peter] Oh I do know [Boris] Oh do you? Some people don’t you see
I just need to make sure that… [Boris] yes that er… I let them know you see [Boris] Because I’m very important [Peter] Yes you are very important yes yes [Boris] I’m well known you
see for being a bit of a buffoon [Boris] But I pride myself on my bicycle yes [Peter] Oh no you’re not a buffoon
at all no no no. You’re very clever [Boris] Oh yes yes. I am great aren’t I yes.
I’m all floppy and I went to Eton don’t you know? [Boris] Yes I’m well spoken and
I’m none of the wiff waff [Peter] Oh yes yes. You’re a welcome change
of pace from Theresa May [Peter as Theresa May] Oh I’m strong and stable. Oh yes strong and stable [Boris] I’m sorry Theresa who? [Peter] You know the last Prime Minister? [Peter] Theresa May? [Boris] Who? [Peter] Theresa May? [Boris] Oh yes. Theresa yes yes. [Boris] Sorry I already forgotten about her
yes yes yes. She’s old news yes [Boris] I’m the new blood yes yes yes
She’s wiff waff [Peter] Yes I agree
[Boris] Yes yes yes [Boris] Theresa… MAYbe Gone yes [Laughs] [Both Laugh] [Boris] Oh yes she’s a bit of a picanilly if you ask me. [Peter] Oh yes I agree [Peter] Anyway let’s move on and let’s talk a bit about your policy [Boris] Right yes yes [Peter] At the moment the country’s social care system and NHS is under great pressure… [Peter] And is in desperate need of reform [Boris] Tish Tosh! Tish Tosh!
Wiff waff. No tish tosh! What the devil? No [Boris] I think really what we need to concentrate on here actually is global warming [Peter] Well that is one thing but
I went to the hospital last week… [Peter] And I had to wait six hours for
somebody to take out my splinter [Boris] What? Six Hours? Well… [Boris] Six hours… Oh that reminds me
yes yes yes [Boris] That reminds me of the time that I
went on a six hour car ride [Peter] But… [Boris] Yes we went to Birmingham. [Peter] But… But… What’s that got
to do with my question? [Boris] Oh er well nothing but it was
a very exciting trip you see [Boris] And I got to go and
I got to go and see a play [Peter] But…
[Boris] It was very good [Boris] You should go and see it [Boris] It was called… It was called er… Cats [Peter] Yes I’ve seen Cats thank you. I… [Boris] oh right. It’s very good isn’t it?
Yes yes yes [Boris] I thoroughly enjoyed it.
It was very interesting. [Boris] About lots of dogs [Peter] But… Wait… What? [Peter] No that’s not right. Anyway we’re getting
sidetracked again. You… [Boris] Oh I love Cats. It was a great show
and surpised there weren’t more cats in it but er… [Boris] It was very interesting.
Furry dogs doing all sorts of interesting things. [Boris] And that was great and
then afterwards we went to the pub [Boris] Ah yeah yeah. Pub woof woof
yeah wiff waff [Peter] Look Boris Boris look
I know you use these distraction techniques… [Peter] to make sure you come across as well as possible in these types of interviews [Boris] Distraction? No no rubbish.
Er… er… er… er… [Boris] What’s your favourite ice cream? [Peter] But… But… But… But…. I… [Boris] Go on. Tell me. What’s your favourite ice cream? [Peter] I… I… Look if I answer your question
can you answer some of mine please? [Boris] Well of course. As I’ve
already said I’m an open book… [Boris] you just need to ask
the right questions yes yes yes [Peter] Ok then my favorite ice cream is vanilla
What’s your favourite? [Boris] Vanilla? Oh tish tosh. Rubbish. [Boris] My favorite’s chocolate? Yes
delicious chocolate yes yes yes [Boris] So delicious and
full of flavour like me yes yes yes yes [Boris] Yes wiff waff. Vanilla… [Boris] It’s for picanillies yes yes
[Peter] Excuse me? [Boris] Yes yes. Ok right right right [Peter] No vanilla is very good thank you very much [Boris] Rubbish. Now what’s your favorite second… Favorite ice cream secondly? [Peter] You mean my second favorite ice cream? [Boris] No I mean your favorite
ice cream secondly [Boris] I say what I mean [Peter] But… [Boris] I’m the Prime Minister don’t you know?
I can say what I like [Peter] Right ok… [Boris] I’ve just decided that
that’s the new way of saying it [Boris] So now you have to say it [Peter] But… But… Ok my second
favorite ice cream is strawberry [Boris] No your favorite second
ice cream is what? [Peter] No my favourite
ice cream secondly [Boris] That’s right yes
[Peter] Is strawberry [Boris] There we go.
Even I got it wrong. Almost treason [Peter] Yes but anyway… [Boris] Ah delicious. Now do
you like it in a cup or in a cone? [Peter] But… But…
[Boris] In a bowl? [Peter] Excuse me!
[Boris] In a tub? [Peter] We’re getting very off track here [Boris] No I’m very interested. Ice cream is
one of my favorite things don’t you know [Peter] Well if you can relate it
to politics somehow then… [Boris] I like eating ice cream while doing politics [Boris] Yes! Wiff waff! Brilliant
[Peter] Oh for goodness sake [Peter] Look let’s move on and
get back on track now [Boris] Ok just ask me… As I say
I’m ready for for the big questions now… [Boris] Yes the hard hitting ones yes. [Peter] Good good good
[Boris] OK [Peter] Let’s talk about the
hot topic of the moment. Brexit [Boris] Oooh! Ooh! Ooh Brexit!
Woah yeah phwoar [Boris] Woah yeah phwoar wiff waff [Peter] right okay so I want you to tell me
whether you are committed to… [Boris] What’s that over there? Ooh [Peter] What? [Boris] Sorry I thought I just
saw Jeremy Corbyn but it wasn’t [Peter] Oh Jeremy Corbyn! [Boris] No no no. Tuened out to be a mirage.
Do you like Jeremy Corbyn? [Peter] No I wanted to shout insults at him [Boris] ooh ooh ah wiff waff. Oh yeah whoer [Peter] Anyway back to Brexit… [Peter] So I want to know from you whether if the EU don’t back down over the backstop… [Peter] Whether you are
committed to doing a hard Brexit? [Boris] Brexit… Wiff Waff… [Peter] Can you answer the question please? [Boris] Err… duh… [Peter] Or are you just going to do Theresa May’s
deal and take away our values [Boris] Wiff Waff [Peter] But… Hello? Boris? [Peter] Can you answer…
[Boris] Would you like a cup of tea? [Peter] What? [Boris] Er… Er… Yes… [Boris] Yes sorry yes would you
like a cup of tea? [Boris] I’ve suddenly become
all of a thirsty yes yes yes [Peter] No no no! [Boris] I need a nice drink
before I answer your question [Boris] It’s just my throat’s a
little dry [Peter] I want you to answer… You can answer the question first and then we can have tea [Boris] Oh no no no of course not.
No why would we do it that way round? That’s silly [Boris] no wiff waff no. What we’re gonna do is I’m going to go and make you a nice cup of tea [Boris] You’d love one wouldn’t you.
Yes you would. Wonderful. Yes yes yes [Peter] No!
[Boris] Ok well how do you like your tea? [Peter] I… [Boris] How do you like your tea Peter? [Peter] I like my tea with a question answered [Boris] Ah yes the question.
Yes the question of the question [Peter] No!
[Boris] And the question of the hour… [Boris] and the question of the day [Boris] And the question of the day
is a bit like Question Time… [Boris] and I I’m very much looking
forward to doing lots of question time… [Boris] especially Prime Minister’s Question Time.
That’s one of my favorite shows [Boris] And I’m very much looking forward to that
because I watch that or TV [Boris] And I’m going to be on it. Yes it’s very exciting because I’m going to end up on TV [Boris] Every time they go somewhere
[Peter] Boris! [Boris] And it’s very exciting you see
I love being on TV [Peter] Boris you’re on Prime Minister’s Question Time every week. You’re an MP. You go in there [Boris] Oh yes that’s right. But I’m not Prime Minister. [Peter] No you were not Prime Minister… [Boris] But I am Prime Minister now. Now I’m the most important. It makes me feel very good. [Peter] oh for goodness sake. Look… [Boris] Yes? [Boris] Oh yes sorry your question
ah yes back to your question. [Boris] your question was would I
would I answer your question [Boris] and of course as I said already I will
but first we must have that cup of tea [Boris] so I’ll go and make the tea or
I’ll find some some underling who will… [Boris] and yes and we’ll meet
back up here in a bit yes? [Peter] Fine. Ok. Go and make the tea
and then answer my question [Boris] You can have every part of my
knowledge and you can pick my brains… [Boris] and I will tell you anything
you like. Um yes ok? [Boris] Do you have any cocoa? [Boris] I don’t actually like tea [Peter] oh okay
[Boris] I like cocoa [Peter] ok I got some cocoa [Boris] Do you have any sandwiches? [Peter] Er… Not to hand but I can make some [Boris] Yes that would be great.
Could you make some sandwiches? [Boris] Could you cut the crusts off though? [Peter] Ok [Boris] My mummy cuts the
crusts off for me [Peter] What would you
like in your sandwiches? [Boris] I’d like ham please [Peter] oh okay. I’ll make you some ham sandwiches and then you can answer my questions [Boris] Just ham and bread
[Peter] okay [Boris] Yes yes and no crusts [Peter] okay [Boris] And some milk [Peter] Right okay [Boris] and normally I wear my pajamas when I eat my sandwiches and drink my milk and my cocoa [Peter] Right… [Boris] Do you have any cookies? [Peter] No I don’t have any cookies [Boris] Right if you ring my mummy
she might be able to tell you which cookies they are [Boris] I don’t know because she
buys them [Peter] I’m not going to buy you cookies [Boris] Oh come on I don’t drink the
cocoa or the tea without the cookies [Peter] Oh… FINE! I’ll buy you some cookies. [Boris] It’s my nightly routine
before mummy puts me to bed [Peter] You’re not going to bed,
you’re doing my interview [Boris] Oh yes. Oh right yes
I’ve got to answer the question [Boris] Um okay yes but but but but… [Boris] But I like cocoa and I like naps [Peter] No [Boris] And I like my mummy when she puts me to bed and she sings me to sleep [Peter] No! Look I… [Boris] Ok well I’ll go and make the tea
and I’ll be right back okay? [Peter] Ok
[Boris] Right right right right [Boris] Mummy. Mummy. [Boris] Mummy it’s Boris. [Boris] It’s Boris. Mummy I want to come home [Boris] I want to come home.
I’ve had enough of playing with Peter [Boris] I know you said you’d come
in an hour but I want you to come early [Boris] I want to come home
and I want to go to bed [Boris] No he’s asking me questions
and I don’t want to answer them [Boris] So you need to come now okay.
I’ll meet you one road over [Boris] okay okay I’m gonna leave now.
Right right [Boris] When I get back can I have
some cocoa and some cookies… [Boris] and some milk and will you
tuck me up and put me to bed? [Boris] okay and will you sing me my song?
And read me my story? [Boris] Five go to Brexit Island right okay.
Love you Mummy [Boris] ok yes I love you too yes. I’ll see you in a minute [Boris] Bye bye bye [Peter] Boris? [Peter] Boris? [Peter] Boris? [Peter] Oh for goodness sake.
I think he’s gone [Peter] What? And he didn’t answer
any of my questions [Peter] Nigel! Nigel! I want to join the Brexit
Party! Nigel Nigel