-The Democrats have held
eight debates already, but I think there’s still
a lot of important questions left unanswered, so we decided
to hold another one. That’s right all seven
qualifying candidates are right here right now,
and they’re ready to go. So, without further ado, here’s the “Late Night”
Democratic Presidential debate. [ Cheers and applause ] Welcome to the “Late Night” 2020
Democratic presidential debate. I’m your moderator, Seth Meyers.
Let’s get started. Vice President Biden,
how would you describe the status of your campaign
at this point? -Without friends, without
support, without allies. [ Laughter ] -Senator Sanders, I hear you
don’t like the term “boomers.” What do you call them? -Young people.
[ Laughter ] -Vice President,
what’s the one sentence that strikes fear into everyone when you’re playing pick-up
basketball in the capital? -Ruth Bader Ginsburg is
on the court. [ Laughter ] -Senator Klobuchar, where do all
the staffers you fire end up? -1,500 feet underground. [ Laughter ] -Vice President Biden,
be honest. When’s the last time
you smoked a doob? -I took a hit in Iowa, and I’ll
probably take a hit here. -My man. Senator Klobuchar,
what do you think about people who applaud
when the airplane lands. -We should prosecute
those people. [ Laughter,
cheers and applause ] -Mayor Buttigieg,
what would you say to Joe Biden if you visited
the Grand Canyon together? -Go all the way to the edge. [ Laughter ] -Senator Klobuchar,
you claim that one of your biggest strengths is
your sense of humor. Give me a hilarious punchline
to this joke. Two businessmen walk into a bar. -One guy, a business guy,
says to the other, “They’re eating them
like Doritos.” -I don’t get it. [ Laughter ] Senator Warren,
what’s the best way to avoid getting mugged on the subway? -Put your money
where your mouth is. -Vice President Biden,
I heard that when Beto O’Rourke dropped out,
he gave you his skateboard. How did that work out? -I busted my neck! [ Laughter ] Senator Klobuchar,
how many times is Lionel Richie’s lover a lady? -Not once, not twice,
but three times. [ Laughter ] Mayor Buttigieg,
what do you call your fists? -Murder and mayhem. [ Laughter ] -Senator Warren, what did you do
on your 5th birthday? -I started my grown-up life. [ Laughter ] Vice President Biden, your body’s looking pretty tight
these days. Is there any way we can get
a peek at the rest of it? -Go to joebiden.com.
You’ll see the whole deal. [ Laughter,
cheers and applause ] -Dot com? Wow. Senator Sanders,
your “Jeopardy!” category is Heisman Trophy winners. For $800, in 1973, this Buffalo
Bill nicknamed “The Juice” became the first player to rush
for 2,000 yards in a season. [ Beep, beep, beep ]
-Who is a terrible murder. [ Laughter ] -Correct. [ Laughter, applause ] Senator Klobuchar, complete
this lyric from 2 Live Crew. “Face down, ass up…” -That is the best way to do it. [ Laughter,
cheers and applause ] -Mayor Buttigieg,
where is Mickey Mouse? -On my watch. -Looks like we have time
for one more question. Vice President Biden,
you went to college in a time before free
contraceptive programs. What happened back then
when you hooked up? -What happened?
We pulled out. -Well, it looks like
we’re out of time! To all the candidates,
have a good night! We’ll be right back
with Ru Paul, everybody!

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