Indian Election Update | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix


Did you see the results? -Yeah.
-Landslide victory for… Modi, Modi, Modi. I told you.
I said, “Don’t do Indian elections.” Why can’t I talk about Indian politics?
I’m Indian. You’re Indian? You didn’t even live there. How do you call yourself an Indian? My family’s from there. People think that you’re American.
You’re a white washed. No, I’m not. You know me
and uncle are brown, you know that. How? But you don’t behave like a brown. -What does that even mean?
-You think that you’re a smart white dude. Sorry, you’re not. If you don’t want me
to talk about politics, -what do you want me to talk about?
-Go ahead with Bollywood. -I’m not talking about Bollywood.
-You should. -I’m not talking about Bollywood.
-No, Indian food. -The spicy Indian food.
-Oh, yeah. Biryani. -You want me to do 26 minutes…
-Oh, yes. on biryani? Yeah, you can do an hour. You could do an hour. Okay. What if I just do the update
on what happened? -Apology is the only update you can give.
-Only update you can do. Maybe you can put it as… “Patriot Act:
Apology Regarding Indian Elections.” You want me to do “Patriot Act:
Apology About Indian Elections?” -Yes.
-“Sorry, I Didn’t Listen.” Hello. Thank you so much! Thank you. Hello, how are you? Hi! Welcome to Patriot Act. I’m Hasan Minhaj.
Thank you guys so much for coming out. Oh, man. Now, look. India just wrapped up
its general election, and we have to talk about it. I mean, can you imagine if we didn’t? Like every white person would be like,
“Is Hasan okay?” And every Indian person would be like,
“Good, he learned.” So here’s a quick update. This election
pretty much came down to two parties. The BJP,
a right-wing Hindu Nationalist group led by incumbent Prime Minister,
Narendra Modi, and the Congress Party,
led by Rahul Gandhi. And the results were stunning. Prime Minister Narendra Modi
is celebrating a sweeping victory Narendra Modi now set for
a second five-year term as prime minister of the world’s biggest democracy. Ladies and gentlemen, India has spoken, and India has spoken decisively. Okay, that’s Navika Kumar, and we featured her the last time
we talked about the elections. So she hit me up on Twitter and invited me to come on her show
for a debate. And I said… “Hell no.”
That show is way too intense. I would get destroyed like King’s Landing. Make your point! All right, make your point! Respond to the basic issues. Can you just calm down? Why are you getting personal? I think you suffer from amnesia. Stop playing the victim card. You did not make
the political point that you should have. Do they just slap everyone
right before they put them on air? Also, how do they fit so many people
on that show? It’s like they mapped the population
of India onto their news shows. Now, look. We know this. It’s not a huge surprise
that the BJP won. It was the size of their victory
that was shocking. Modi’s BJP Party won 303 out of 542 seats in the lower House of Parliament.
It’s well beyond the simple majority a party in India needs
to form a government. The BJP took so many seats, they won a majority on their own. They pulled it off
by expanding beyond the Hindi Belt, which sounds like something
Gucci got in trouble for selling. But… the Hindi Belt is actually a region that’s made up entirely
of Hindi-speaking states. In this election,
the BJP managed to expand into every part of India. They are now 56%
of the lower House of Parliament. Meanwhile, the Congress Party ended
this election with 52 seats. That’s not even 10% of the lower house. And if you think things couldn’t get
any worse for Rahul Gandhi, you’re very wrong. And one of the highlights
of the BJP’s amazing victory is Amethi, where the party’s Smriti Irani
defeated Congress President Rahul Gandhi. An event that has led
to even more humiliation for the congress. I would like to say Smriti Irani has won. I want to congratulate her.
The citizens of a Amethi have decided. I respect their decision. Okay, Rahul couldn’t even win
his own district, which his family held for decades. He lost to a BJP candidate
named Smriti Irani, who’s a former soap opera star. And trust me, she does not fuck around. Okay, why did they film this entire show
on Google Street View? It feels like the director
is like, “Wait. I’m just looking for a brunch spot.
Let me just… let me just get my Matrix on.” Killing the competition
isn’t just a metaphor. The BJP ran some wild candidates. Like Anantkumar Hegde who said, “As long as we have Islam in the world,
there will be no end to terrorism,” which kind of sounds like
Stephen Miller’s wedding vows. Or Sakshi Maharaj, who has
34 criminal cases against him, including robbery and murder, but by far the craziest BJP candidate
was Pragya Thakur, who won in Bhopal. Now, she recently pissed off
pretty much all of India. Sadhvi Pragya has proved to be
the biggest embarrassment for the BJP. She has called Mahatma Gandhi’s assassin
a patriot. You can’t say that. That’s like calling Ted Bundy
a ladies man. Now, Pragya eventually apologized. But this isn’t the first time she’s run
into trouble. Last year, a terrorism charge
was laid against her as a suspect in a 2008 mosque bombing
that killed six people. Visiting a Bhopal Hindu temple
for a cleansing ceremony, she adamantly maintains her innocence
in the case. I am 100% innocent. Okay, technically… Pragya is out on bail
because she has cancer. But she’s also been accused
of plotting a deadly bomb attack. So, I just don’t know how to do this joke. You know what I mean?
‘Cause, like, what was her Make-A-Wish? You know what I mean? They were like,
“Hey, do you want to meet The Rock?” And then she was like,
“Can he help me blow up a mosque?” I told you it was fucked up. Now look, it’s easy to reduce
the BJP’s popularity to one issue, whether you look Pragya
and think Hindu nationalism or you look at Congress and you think
of corruption and incompetence. But don’t forget one
of the biggest reasons the BJP won is Narendra Modi himself. Voters wanted him
to be the face of India. So even though he’s known
for not taking questions from the press, the stakes of this election were so high,
even he had to sit down for an interview with one of the most feared journalists
in India, Bollywood star Akshay Kumar. The fashion statement you make
is very interesting. Have you styled it yourself? This is a good question. I want to know if you eat mangoes. I eat mangoes,
and I enjoy it very much. Okay, that sounds like a five-year-old
interviewing their doll. Akshay’s like, “Do you like mangoes? I like mangoes. Would you like some more tea?” He’s so charming, I almost forgot
about the Rafale scandal. Now, I totally get why Indians love Modi. He’s so Indian.
The day before voting ended, he climbed the Himalayan Mountains
and meditated in a shrine for 18 hours. He basically did what Americans think
Indians do all the time. Look, you may not agree with his politics,
but the man knows a good photo op. He’s like, “Look, I want to meditate.
Get the cameras ready.” THERE’S– FUCK– THIS IS A THREE CAMERA SHOOT! Look what they’re cutting. They had to cut wide on the walk.
They’re getting his lineup. They got his lineup! We have multiple angles inside
of a cave, you guys. The point is Modi is savvy and revered, and I know this because Indian trolls
are blowing up my mentions. They don’t like my sweater.
They don’t like my hand motions. This person just wants me to know
that I’m a son of a bitch. I love how he wrote, “Just so you know.” He’s like, “Hey, just FYI. You’re a son of a bitch.” But I picked up on a general theme. Modi supporters think I was trying
to swing the election. “Let me take this time
to thank Hasan Minhaj, who helped us elect
a right-wing government in India. Thank you.” Okay, let me make this very clear. Comedians can’t swing elections. This is insane. George W. Bush won twice
when Jon Stewart was on the air. We’re talking peak Stewart, you guys. He had black hair.
He had the shoulder pads. He took down Crossfire. Everyone was like,
“I get my news from J-Stew. He’s the truth-teller.” Meanwhile, Bush went back-to-back.
Comedians don’t do shit. But… I can’t go online without Desi trolls telling me
I ruined democracy. So clearly,
I didn’t need to go to Navika’s show. Navika’s show came to me. I think he made Modi win. Why is he talking about
Indian politics anyway? He has no clue about Narendra Modi.
He has no clue about BJP. This guy’s an anti-Indian. You are my least favorite
Daily Show correspondent. -Not funny.
-Excuse me. That is not the point.
Can I make my point? -Can I make my point?
-Make your point! It’s only Modi, Modi, Modi for him. I tried to tell him not
to talk about this, and he never listened to me. He’s a complete idiot and a buffoon. Why are you getting personal? Why are you getting personal? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Let’s not get personal. Hasan Minhaj is a son of a bitch!




Comments
  1. The beginning of the video is kinda real for me because I'm a dual citizen. It seems to be that if you're part of two countries, you aren't part of either. That sounds weird, but in both countries, my political and even practical perspectives are diminished for my "other side". And I'm not even a minority. I really have to wonder if its the same or worse for minorities. Correct me if I'm wrong, please.

  2. Before Biryani, we need 26 minutes of Indian rice cultivation, then 26minutes of Indian animal husbandry, and 26 minutes for each spice or ingredients that his parents use and then finally, we will be ready for Briyani.

  3. WTH Indians. Is copying trump fanfare behaviour for Modi on YouTube really going to help your case on this video? Yes he's biased, but all political "comedians" are, especially about topics that don't directly affect him and is informed (probably) through (((western))) media sources. No good picking on his nationality and religion if you wanna change people's perception about you as a nation.

  4. I like you bro keep doing what you are doing people are stupid and most of them are Indians who support violence against muslims

  5. I don't know what I expected from the comments on this video, but it wasn't a bunch of butthurt indian nationalists.

  6. Majority of Hasan Mihnaj fans from India supports MODI. They watch his video and like his video and then go ahead and vote/support Modi. There is a trend in India, even globally, where the majority of people who tend to stay away from politics, lives like a liberal, supports environmental causes and most of the time keep to themselves without involving in any kind of political discussion. However, when it comes to voting they side with the right-wing party.

  7. Hahaha, can't stop laughing. I need more on Indian Politics because they are funny. Way to go Hasan!

    Oh yeah, don't forget about our brothers situation in Kashmir right now.

  8. The misconception if a certain individual or group of people who are Americans born are considered white wash because we can’t dispute facts about our parents home is mind blowing.

  9. my elder sister used to watch that soap opera and that scene was by far the most ridiculous and hilarious in the whole damn thing.

  10. That’s the difference Hasan. You say, THEY while referring to India but we say OUR. That’s why the people in India know what we talk about. Because we see the ground reality and don’t just believe every Internet source.

  11. Well there are some unique aspects to indian election that these last two elections have brought up.
    Caution, fairly a lengthy post and not sure if anyone would ever read this but whatever!
    Life lesson 101 : "When you feel bad, make someone else feel worse than you do"
    *Being Indian 101: 101 a) *
    India has a long history of oppression (being oppressed) and this is deeply built into our cultural psyche.. so we tend to not care about who is ruling us, because we know ultimately one has to run one's own survival game (e.g. role of peasant movement in indian freedom struggle)
    Being Indian 101: 101 b)
    Indians have inferiority complex and lack of strong self confidence ( history + economic disparity+ international power)
    What does the voter want? – Life Lesson 101 meets Being Indian 101
    1. Usuals – employment, food, homes, education (relatively a new entry on the list)
    Common pain point and we all know no one is going to do anything about it
    2. (given Being Indian 101 a) So Secondary agendas crop up – Casteism, Regionalism, religion etc etc.. Patriotism is multi layered here
    ****************************************
    Modi and his team are brilliant political strategists.

    Amping up emotions has an angle of dilution of marginal utility. So, they actually identified the NEVER BEFORE USED AMAZING ANGLE of PUTTING UP A STRONG FACE FOR INDIA ON INTERNATIONAL PLATFORM (both elections) and NATIONALISM in 2019 election

    Modi went on an interview before 1st election and said that he will have no tolerance policy towards Pakistan and he had history to back that up (Godhra)

    In first term, one thing he DID achieve was improve India's "confidence" on international platforms and he marketed that really well + plus he talked about ideas which were new like digitization (never mind whether they were implemented or not)

    Finally, before 2019.. same thing.. he used or atleast i think BJP played the nationalism angle.. and it REALLY REALLY helped that Rahul Gandhi was in opposition.. BJP achieved a NEVER BEFORE thing – actually managed to get an armed forces person back within 3 days from Pakistan

    HUGE!!!
    And it is kudos to their strategy for successfully conditioning the voters
    – Use of internet for information spread (Congress learnt about that after 1st elections)
    – Being able to sell India's DEMAND POWER on international forums (when congress never thought of increasing the size of the pie – bigger pie would have helped politicians too as automatically scam piece would have been bigger- such a lost opportunity)
    – Being RESPECTED in a more VOCAL and VISUAL manner
    – Being able to market and amp up the right emotions amongst the population
    – Bringing in new kind of politics (Kashmir 370 – which was always a non issue)
    **************************************
    Are there no pitfalls, yes there are – if his first term is analyzed.. they achieved little

    His vision is usually an MBA student presentation – ideas are great/logical – everyone knows its presentation to get the grade, they don't need to run an actual organization

    But atleast the idea is there.. HOWEVER, bashing is easy.. what are real options to vote for? India needs change.. it will never come given the current system and population size..
    Are we as Indians ready to change and give up on our prejudices to actually work together?
    ************************************
    Also, it is misrepresentation if you say these guys are hindu fascists when Congress has for so long been supporting muslim agendas (Both are political parties.. obviously they create and hold onto their voter groups – BJP is even creating new ones – muslim women for example and through triple talaq .. )

  12. I cannot think of any other comedian other than Kenny Sebastian, who for the same reason, swayed away from doing Stand Up comedies on Indian Politics.

  13. i have seen hasan minhaj's many videos but in this he wasn't original…maybe the muslim in him was too much in this video

  14. As a country obsessed with "log kya kahenge? " We fail to realize that may be…. JUST MAYBE…. this how the world sees us..

  15. I will also say same gandhi was an idiot if he join hands with netaji Subhash chandra bose india would have get independence so early

  16. Hassan
    You've misunderstood the situation
    True that when showcased on media the congress seems lesser racist
    But it only does so for the camera
    They're just as racist
    Racism still isn't being countered in India
    But you either pic someone who
    1.creates divides among races and loots the country while not being capable of progressive strategies to bring any change
    2. Still is racist but atleast doesn't loot the people and sincerely does care for the common man

    It's about not accepting a government that openly cheats its people and acts high n mighty like it has fooled everyone
    Congress has always tried to publicly play the card of dividing muslims n hindus and saying that they are on the minorities side
    While BJP isn't at the very least trying to create a divide where it doesn't exist, they have racist extremists too but those members are active in regions of high dispute
    it's still horrible but it's a step forward
    The first step is the government at least working for the people instead of just trying to save face all the time
    Next comes progressively uniting people
    N regarding the hindu extremists
    There is no extremism in hinduism…it's the people
    So the people involved have nothing to do with being hindu's but only being bullies
    and they will swing in whatever direction has more power
    Congress would also have supported them if they could
    It's the educated crowd voting for bjp
    Congress is the one mainly raking in votes from the poor by promising them temporary reliefs and making them believe that they are oppressed because of their religion, that way they have something more definite to blame, when in reality job opportunities have nothing to do with religion in India anymore…

  17. love u hassan, atleast ur doing more than 80% of the world combined… RSS etremists have hijacked the largest democracy in the world… and no one can do sh**!!

  18. I'm in awe over the "random uncle with a kindle"…. they should introduce that in silly american "panel" debates :-p It might not make any useful comments about the subject, but it has STYLE.

  19. hahhahahhahahaha oh man i just can't stop laughing. u r MashaAllah so talented. from last 4 hours i'm just browsing your show. keep it up and May Allah bless you more. And thanks sir for supporting the right cause.

  20. 1. Narender modi wins again with majority.
    2. Amit Shah( The Mastermind) Take oath as Home minister of India( This is the Scariest thing for a community 🀣).

    3 . They both revoked article 370 and officially include kashmir in India, also planning to take pak occupied kashmir from pakistan.
    4. And who is not in NRC list,these illegal migrants (not all are muslims there are 20 lakh hindus who are illegal migrants) will not get citizenship of India.
    5. Many congress leaders behind the bars ( accused with corruption )
    6. Still no one is a competitor of Narender Modi
    7. But unemployment rate is still high and economy not performing well but he is the best pm ever. His government performing well in every field or sector except economy and in employment.
    atleast he make laws much more powerful and provide corruption-less government..
    7. He will achieve a great victory in 2024 like 2019.
    8. Even political alliance can't beat him in election Because still he is a man who haven't any capable competitors …..
    9. Many News media and many journalist (Presstitute) make propaganda and call him hindu extremist and communal and try to let him down but he is still unbeatable …..
    10. Hope my neighbours Like My Government …..

  21. Trust me, it's not just his parents that are like that.

    ALMOST EVERY DAMN OLD X,Y GEN PARENTS ARE LIKE THAT THAT LIVE IN A FRIGGING EGG SHELL!!

  22. That's what happens here in India, the incompetant and ignorant take the limelight and embarrass the nation whereas the smart ones stay quiet. Mostly, intelligent ones just migrate to other countries and flourish there. I think there'll be a positive wave soon, the millenials are much more progressive and smarter.

  23. Hasan keep it up ….anwy do u drink alcohol….if u do ….pls come to north east india ….its cooler than kashmir…. U know what i mean …….

  24. Whatever you said about India is what you read about it in your country, which actually might not be true always. You are making fun of things which probably you don’t have any idea about or even relate to. When you make a living out of it… you should be bare minimum responsible. You paint a very inappropriate picture of India. India might not be perfect yet, but I believe and…I am sure many more countrymen will share this emotion…we are on track.

  25. I knew of hasan but I had never really looked into him until two days ago and I've binged all of patriot act. I literally love this show

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