Deep Cuts: Hasan Gets Real About the 2020 Election | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix


We were gonna do a whole thing on
the show about the 2020 candidates, uhh, ‘cause there’s like nineteen
of them now, I guess? You know what’s crazy, I did
Van Jones’ show the other day, and he was like, “Kamala Harris, you’re
in right? Because of the Indian thing?” And I’m like, “No, no, I kinda wanna also know like
policy positions and stuff like that.” He was like, “I just thought you would
go straight up Indian across the board.” And I’m like, “No, man.” I mean, I’m not gonna go like Dinesh
D’Souza: “Indian, we gotta do it.” I think the Howard Schultz
thing is the funniest. He’s just open micing,
“Should I run for President?” And he’s just getting ratio’d on Twitter. Have you guys seen that? Where he’s just like, “I don’t see color.” And they’re like, “Booo. Boooo.” And then he’s like,
“Alright, I do see color.” And they’re like, “Boooo!” Like, it’s been a month. He hasn’t decided
whether he’s doing it or not. It’s just like, make up your mind. I think he should just do an
Instagram poll and be like, “Alright, should I or shouldn’t I?” And it’s just 98% “boooo.” Do you guys think billionaires
should run for President? Even when the whole
Oprah thing happened? Remember when Oprah gave that
speech and everyone was like, “She should be our President.” And then we, like, everyone settled down
after, like, twelve hours and they’re like, “Didn’t she give us Dr. Phil? And Dr. Oz? And Suze Orman?” She’s CC’d a lot of people. She’s cosigned a shit ton of
weird, crazy people. It’s nuts. That’s why I don’t think any billionaire should ever run for president, like, period. Like, um… what is the monetary amount
where your, like, soul turns? What do you think it is? Like, what’s the number where you go
from normal human being to, like…. awfully—what’s the
number? What do you think? (I was gonna say a million,
maybe a little bit less…) $1 million? You’re saying $1 million? In Manhattan?! “I have $1 million—” They would give
you this square, this LED square, they’d be like, “This is $1
million in Hell’s Kitchen.” A million? Goddamn, really? (What was the question
again? I think I misheard it.) Wait, you weren’t
listening to the question? Alright. Alright, dude. You were paying attention. No, no, no, we’re not gonna bother. Look, what’s the number? (I think like $15 million.) $15 million your soul turns? (Absolutely.) No way. Like, NBA players make that much
money and they’re just normal— you know what I mean? ‘Cause I saw Antoine
Walker in the airport. He had a $118 million
contract for the Boston Celtics. He went bankrupt, right? It was a hundred plus. And, we were just, both of us were just
kicking it in American Airlines coach. He’s not a— you know what I mean? We were
both eating just regular pretzels. (But I feel like…$15 million, you just—) $15 you’d turn? (Yeah. Me, personally, I’d turn.) You would turn for $15. What would you do
when you hit that point? You’re just like— (I’m not caring about anything.) You’re not caring—come on, what? You can blow that so
fast, are you kidding me? (That’s true, that’s true.) You can blow that crazy fast. (I don’t know. I don’t know.) This, like, this is $15 million. This fucking, this crazy thing
is $15 million or something. (I’d buy this.) Really? (I’d buy your set.) And you’d just be broke,
and you’d be like, “Alright.” What do you do for a living? (I work at a bank.) You work at a bank? Oh, man. Oh boy, oh boy. You’re like, “trust me, I know.” You’ve gotta be able, my thing is, there’s something about when
you hit the billion dollar mark. You just— your life has no repercussions,
that’s the thing. You can literally say and do anything. You can like, quiet dissent, you can
just do whatever you want. You have to, for me… the question you should ask everybody is,
“when was the last time you bought milk?” You yourself. I’d be like Oprah, “When’s the last
time you walked in and bought milk?” I’m talking about straight
up you went to the bodega. You’re like milk— I’d be like, first of all I’d be like, “Oprah, how much is milk?
Why don’t you tell me that?” And you have to, and then
the second question is wait, when was the last time you bought
milk and you did the whole process? You walked in, you’re like, “Alright,” and they’re like, “$15 minimum.”
That. I need the whole… You know who should run for president?
My dad should run for president. He knows milk prices like *snaps fingers* He gets so pissed when he
comes to New York, he’s like, “$5.99? We need to go to Jersey,
it’s $2.50 at the Costco in Jersey.” I’m like, this guy knows the people. He’s gonna have some
great policies for everybody. (So is $1 million really that low?) $1 million? (Yeah.) I mean, you guys tell me.
$1 million is a lot of money. I don’t know if it’s like, my
soul has completely changed. [Several people]
(No.) No. It’s not like, I can never work
again, you know what I mean? But it is a lot of money. Yeah? (Half $1 billion.) Half $1 billion. That’s when your soul turns. (When you can buy a yacht.) When you can buy a yacht. So then Betsy DeVos
should not be in office. She has a $40 million yacht. “What is an issue that you’ve
changed your opinion on, and what made you change it?” You know what? I, uh, I really like sandals now. Sandals are cool. I used to have like a staunch
anti-sandals position. I’m like, “They’re stupid, they look bad.” And now, I really love
sandals. They’re great. (What’s your thoughts on
the Zion and the Nike blowout?) What’s my thoughts on
Zion blowing out his shoes? (Yeah.) Dude, this is the opportunity of a lifetime
for Adidas and Puma to come in and be like, “Hey, our shoes don’t fucking blow out. Just because you
have a strong pivot foot. Adidas.” I would just like— how has no brand just
trolled the shit out of Nike? Of just like, “Adidas, our shoes don’t break.” That’s it. Give me $1 million, Adidas. Give me $1 million, so I can— so my soul can proverbially turn,
and I can be a horrible human being. You’re from out of town? What does that have to do? Dude. Dude, what are you talking about? There’s like, a cardiologist
named Varun over here who’s like, “$1 million, that’s like
three procedures for me.” There’s a fucking Indian
dentist over here who’s like, “My private practice
earns $4 million a year.” That being said, a lot of
those guys are assholes. Do I know for a fact—I know I’m saying,
a lot of those guys are assholes. Puma’s ad should just be like, “Puma. Our shoes work.” Give me $1 million, Puma.




Comments
  1. i do normal retail job. probably will never make a million in my bank at once. but i dont see how that amount is soul changing. gotta think extreme. in a way that the most pious and graceful human. what will change them forever?
    my take would be 100 mil +

  2. I think rather than a lump sum, an income level is more important. I think like a couple hundred grand is enough as annual income is enough.

  3. I like Hasan but a million dollars is more than enough to give a person the type of corrupt moral and social leeway he's talking about. He doesn't think so because he'd have to get introspective but my family of 5 makes somewhere around $65k/year and I still feel guilt about not donating enough, helping people I know enough, etc. You can do so much with the power of a million or more and when you can do good things and you don't then that's on you.

  4. That guy was right though you could retire in a small town with 1 million. That's a huge sum of money to the vast majority of Americans. My one regret from moving to a city from a small town is that prices which were once dirt cheap are insanely high now for me.

  5. Between 750-900 million… because your soul turns and begins to focus on 1B….so you start to do things that most won't or can't to get to that next level.

  6. i think that whoever holds public office should be the best possible at that position, no matter their income. however, income can affect what you bring to the table. for example, betsy devos shouldnt not be the education secretary just because we shouldn’t have rich people in office; she shouldn’t because her wealth means she can’t properly tend to the needs of public school using, low income populations

  7. the milk bit ins't his. I think colbert did it with letterman? All I know is it isn't his. Correct me if you remember who did it first

  8. Power corrupts. Not money. Money goes to those in power because that's the medium by which they are corrupted in our society.

  9. I think your soul turns when you don't have to think about the value of anything. When you can – and DO – buy a house, a yacht, a diamond-encrusted toilet seat without asking how much it costs. Basically any customer of Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop brand.

  10. These are the most dumb (obviously leftist) comments. You should ban someone from office, because of their net worth? Are you kidding me? Can you ban someone for their race, or gender? Since lefties want to set a ceiling, how about a floor…what's the minimum a person should have before being considered for office? Let the left eat their own, …

  11. I think that $1 million dollars, no matter where you're from in the US, is most likely not enough to be absolutely soul-changing. That implies that you'd never have to worry about money again, and you'd be so unconcerned, that you'd actually stop worrying about the welfare of others because you had so much money. And real talk, while I won't argue that $1 million dollars is life-altering for a majority of people, I highly doubt that it's actually soul-changing for a majority of people. Those are two very different things.

    I will say, though, that as New Yorkers, we're used to paying $18 for like ONE drink in a bar or $1600 a month for a not-that-nice studio apartment, so our concept of money is much different than other people's.
    Personally, I could blow through even $15 million in like 3 months, tbh. Definitely not soul-changing for me.

  12. Um, with a million dollars you could definitely choose a Western city, buy several apartments, rent them out, then move to Sri Lanka or Thailand and live off the rent like a king for the rest of your life.

  13. Hahaha that was me getting roasted! Totally worth it

    Shameless plug, check out my music covers on my channel!

  14. i think as soon as you have more money than you can take a loan from a bank, that's when your soul has turned

  15. How awesome is it that the person in charge of education has a $40 million yacht while students are in debt 😂

  16. Million dollar guy is the perfect example of when you say something stupid, try to make excuses for it and then just end up sounding even dumber. lol

  17. His perception is skewed because he himself earns millions. He'll never admit to having his soul turned but you can always hear him brag about his expensive shoes and branded clothes.

  18. The reason everyone is having a hard time pinning down a dollar-amount where you can no longer relate to other people is that there is no definite dollar amount. It is an issue of ratios. A million dollars isn't a lot of money in Manhattan, maybe, but the guy with a million dollars who moves to Centreville, Illinois is going to have a hell of a hard time relating to anyone else there. It's hard to think in the same way as the people around you when you have enough money to buy everything they own.

  19. I hate to burst your bubble Hasan, but Betsy Devos doesn't own a Yacht.

    She owns TEN Yachts. She has a personal Yacht Scheduler who looks after them.

  20. I live in the suburban midwest and could spend a million dollars in a day just buying myself, my elderly parents, and my sister & her kids modest houses… MAYBE pay off my student loan debt.

  21. Anyone notice that subtle flex at 1:53? As if he didn’t just tell us less than a minute ago that he lives in hells kitchen🤨😂

  22. @HasanMinhaj
    Please look at Sham Sharma Show on Youtube
    https://youtu.be/0_55_hUzYsA
    This talks about the "Laziness" on Your side, Ignoring the HINDUS in India. And Over Exaggerating Things – The Real Truth and Criticism about your Liberal Agenda.

  23. Real proud of you Hassan ❤️ seeing an Asian brown brother killing it out there gives us all hope 🤘🏽

  24. When you can buy a university building so the FBI won't persecute you for admissions fraud. That is when your soul has definitely turned.

  25. He's not saying suddenly acquiring a lump sum of $1 million, he's talking about a net worth of $1 million that a person accrues over his/her life. Which really isn't like a crazy amount. Many suburban families in a good neighborhood would easily be at or above that $1 million mark when you add up all their assets, and most of these are really good people

  26. Okay that response is that someone has a million dollars in their savings — no debt, owns a house, a car, etc. That is hell of a lot for a savings.

    Personally, I don’t think that’s a good way to judge it. I think when an individual doesn’t have to think a whole lot about how much something normal they’re buying is, they’ve definitely crossed a different line of perspective. Just to clarify, I mean people who don’t really look at price tags, have money readily available to go on an semi-expensive vacation.

  27. Oprah is out of sync with middle class America sure she does many charitable programs but that’s from the zero tax she’s paying – great write off, she’s a PR personality and too intimate with the corporate world.

  28. Hasan saying a million net worth still normal while his net worth is estimated at $3 mill. 😂

  29. The kids shoe broke because it was an old shoe. And NCAA will not allow sneaker deals or let their athletes be paid, period.

  30. should of asked Hasan how much milk costs, then asked him how much would turn his soul. then fly out of town find someone working a minimum wage job and ask them how much milk costs and ask them how much would be required to corrupt your soul.
    instead he points out that he knows people who make several million in a weeks time. totally forgetting the entire point of the "joke". in the end all he did was show his blind side to the wealth gap in America, that his joke about billionaires not knowing how much milk costs applies equally to someone who is a millionaire. go live without power for a few months and eat a can of corn because that's all you have. turn off your water and unplug your internet, you have no power so you can't turn on a light or go online or even use your phone because it's dead. come back after a few months and tell me again how much money would corrupt your soul. that man that said 1 million was correct.

  31. I think more than money it would be unlimited power or unquestioned power – that's the point when anybody's soul could turn. It doesn't have anything to do with money. Take the e.g of Russia when Putin was getting his feet planted. There were a LOT of billionaires, WAY richer than him, but he had the power to bring them to their knees, send them to jail, make them flee the country. There are loads of examples of people on ordinary or no pay who's souls have literally 'turned' – corrupt racist cops, Nazi officers, soldiers who exercise brutality towards POWs, and who can forget, ISIS and the Taliban. As they say, if you want to learn any person's character, give him or her power, unbridled power – that's the game changer.

  32. Hey Hasan,
    I love your show patriot act and you are truly a star and probably coz of the show I learned to put my concern out boldly. Can u show something related to colorism coz it's big deal in India at least and it affects a lot.
    Big fan,
    Pooja

  33. Where I'm from, somewhere between USD$3-7M would be the soul-changer. Everything is decently cheap around here and the exchange rate is 4x of my local currency (provided your whole life is here and not entirely abroad). Beyond that point, you sort of become like a saint because a majority of us are religious and that's when you stop caring about money entirely and start donating it mostly because you know the money would replenish again through investments. (Malaysian here btw)

  34. I find it funny he brings up Oprah grocery shopping when she did an interview where she mentions buying her own avacado tree instead of buying them at the store

  35. Warren 2020! Join now or later.. you may like one candidate one day and another a different day, but you know you are voting Warren in 2019. #WinWithWarren #SheHasAPlan

  36. If he reads the comments, I bet he regretted his answer about the millions dollar . He just showed his status by his reaction to the one million $ guy.
    Also his question was vague , it could be divided in 2 or 3 :
    1." how much money is being rich ?" Which is subjective and shows one's standard of living ( now we all know you have at least a million Hasan, you can stop pretending you're so relatable)
    2. How much money do you need so that you can get away with crimes or buy expensive things for no reason ( like many cars and yachts )
    3. When does someone has enough money, that it can't relate to average citizens of a country? ( to avoid being subjective on this question we have to look at stats. After a quick search on Google the average household income seems to be around $60000)

    But on a good note, he has a point when he says rich people should not have the right to be president. How can a rich person work for the better of common citizens if they can't relate to the average citizen?

    But guess what this will probably not happen because who works in the government? Rich people

  37. There's got to be a milk alternative! I don't drink milk so I couldn't tell you how much it is. I COULD tell you how much a dozen eggs are at two or three different stores 🙂

  38. I believe A billion dollars cannot turn a good soul evil but I've also seen a crackhead suck a dick for 58 cents so… if you're good you'll do good no matter if you have $1 or a billion. But if you're evil and 58 Cent can let you get over on somebody you will… I guess there is no set amount of money to turn a soul. Just an amount to expose it.
    For some people it's a million dollars. Others it's 58 cents…

  39. Honestly, for me, closer to a $1 trillion dollars would be when my soul turns. I'm 25, so I could go through $1 million dollars in a life time, even if I'm carefully. $15 million is enough to live on, but not enough to just do whatever I want. Once I get to $1 trillion dollars, I can be as careless as possible, and I still have money left over. I could buy my own island, own my own jet, hire a lot of people, etc.

  40. Hi Hasan ,I have been following you for so long and since you said you read all the comments on the YouTube video,I hope you read this. You should cover one episode on free speech and what's happening in India over Kashmir and how the media houses have become govt. puppet. I dare you no one is gonna bring attention to the matter where there has been communication shutdown for over a month in the valley and the information coming out can not be trusted. I had just lost all my respect for my childhood hero Bear Grylls for Man vs Wild with Modi..and I don't want to loose it for you.. a lot is riding on you my brother #peace . You crack a lot of jokes on India and always portray your Indian connection. It's time to serve the nation .

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